Themed Photos #1: Life is a Child’s Play

These were made by my son over the last couple of years

Welcoming 2021 – 2021

Temple Procession Idols – 2022

House – 2022

Aircraft – 2023

F1 Car – 2023

Ganesha – 2023

Madurai Kallazhar (with Umbrella) on his Horse – 2023

Helicopter – 2024

Creditcard Machine – 2024

A Bird – 2024

A Spaceship – 2025

Spaceships – 2025

Ninja Warriors – 2025

Ayyappan Temple with Staircase – 2025

F1 Race Car and Driver – 2025

F1 Racetrack made with Jenga blocks, Dominoes blocks and interlocking bricks – 2025

Maze with a tower at the center – 2025

Go-kart – 2025

Why do people send their kids to school? (Part 2)

This is a follow-up post to one of my earlier posts “Why do people send their kids to school? (Part 1).”

Why do people send their kids to school? To me the most important reason why people send their kids to school is to understand the dynamics of the society and learn to survive/ thrive in them. Whether one realizes this fact or not, whether one accepts it or not, schools are the closest possible and the safest simulator of societies available to kids.

One might ask, ‘Wouldn’t a family serve as simulator of the society?’ The answer is no. One’s family might be the biggest influence in his/her life. But it does a poor job of simulating a society. A society consists of vast number of individuals with infinite shades of multiple characteristics interacting billions of times in a day in real time. Most of these interactions happen between people on equal terms and most of the rules of these interactions are set by the interacting people themselves. In a society we are influenced by the actions of people whom we might not even know.

Number of Individuals: A family at best consists of few individuals. In the case of a nuclear family with just one kid, there is no one in the kid’s age group with whom the kid can interact on a day to day basis. Even a decent sized school would have a fair bunch of kids in every age group in the neighborhood of the kid’s age group.

Infinite shades of Characteristics: Most families are homogenous groups (Ethnicity, Language, Religion, Economic Strata, etc.). Most kids for the first time in their lives, would interact with kids from different ethnic and religious background in their schools. If we were to include other intrinsic characteristics like (extroversion vs. introversion, assertiveness vs. timidity, aggression vs. compassion, multiple intelligences, etc.), it’s virtually impossible to meet people across the entire spectrum of these characteristics in one’s own family.

Number of Interactions: With only a few members in the family, the number of interactions will be fairly limited. Add to this the fact that we are dealing only with people with whom we are related or whom we like (at a broad level). But in a society we will have to interact with people whom we like/ don’t like, know/ don’t know, with whom we don’t share the same ideology, with whom we agree on a few things but don’t agree on a lot of issues, our neighbors whom we don’t like, etc. Only a school will provide such a variety of situations and variety of interactions for kid.

Rules of the Transactions/ Interactions: In a family setting except for a few rules all others are pretty much relaxed. But in a society rules are rigid and there are consequences for breaking rules. In school just like in a society every child will have to abide by a broad set of rules set by the school authorities. Similar to the society in schools there are groups of people in charge of enforcing these rules (teachers). In interactions with their own classmates/ friends the rules are set by the interacting kids themselves.

Influence of Others’ Actions: In a society we are often influenced by the consequence of other people’s actions (sometimes we might not even be aware of what those actions are or who that person is). E.g. a few days back just before Diwali when tropical storm was in full swing in Chennai, a group of six boys from my neighborhood ventured into Marina Beach to take bath in the sea. Unfortunately three of them drowned. As a result there is an increased police patrol in the beaches in Chennai and in some cases people are prevented from entering the waters. Most people who head to these beaches would not even know who these boys were, but will face the consequence of the bad judgment of these six boys. In a family setting such kind of anonymity is impossible. We can easily trace back the consequences to actions of individual members in the family. Only schools replicate this aspect of the society very well.

Dynamics of the Society: In a society not everyone is equal; some people are more equal than others. There are some sources of power/ visibility (wealth, connections, knowledge, etc.). Only in schools kids will come to terms with this aspect of the society. In schools certain kids will have higher visibility due to the fact that they are studious, athletic, able win awards for the class/ school, good looking, kids of influential people, know the teacher or the principal at a personal level. The existence of such dynamics in schools might not be desirable but their mere existence ensures that the kids grow up into adults with an understanding of this aspect of the society.

Also in schools kids experience firsthand something similar to social progression: Kids who meet the requirements of the current class (standard) will qualify to move to the next class (standard). In addition they also get to know the concept of people’s representative through the class representatives and school people leader (however the process followed to choose people’s representatives in a real society is completely different).

The reason why we choose a particular school is because we expect the school to train our kids to gain entry into the best colleges and subsequently into best workplaces (A school is the first step in a lengthy ladder that would eventually lead to financial independence). But we completely lose sight of the fact that schools serve as simulators of the society and help to inculcate the habits and skillsets required by kids (to thrive in the society) when they grow up into adults. Put simply the role that schools play in teaching skills related to curricular and co-curricular activities is broadly appreciated, but the role that schools play or should play in teaching life skills is not properly understood (especially by parents) much less appreciated. Understanding this contribution of schools would help the government and school authorities to redesign the school curriculum/ school experience for the better and will help the parents to choose schools that are better suited to teach life skills to their kids.

Why do people send their kids to school? (Part 1)

Why do people send their kids to school? That might sound like a stupid question to you. Or you might think that I am not serious when I am posing this question. I am one hundred percent serious about this question. When I look back at my own experience of my school-going days (oops… sorry Professor Daniel Kahneman. Wrong usage). When I recollect memories of my school-going days as well as think about that of millions of other people, the question ‘Why do people send their kids to school?’ keeps popping up in my head again and again. Why do people send their kids to school?

Let’s list down the most important reasons:

  1. To get the kids educated
  2. To teach them discipline
  3. To ensure that the kids go to good universities/ colleges. No, that’s not correct… To ensure that the kids go to one of the best universities/colleges
  4. Parents need someone to take care of their kids in their absence
  5. Parents don’t have the expertise in bringing up their kids. They need help from experts. Schools provide these experts.
  6. Parents don’t have the time or patience to watch their kids the entire day (and day after day)
  7. To ensure that the kids grow up as well rounded individuals

Let’s take a closer look at the above responses.

The first three look pretty straight forward. These three are the ones that every parent would agree in public too. People want their kids to get educated. After all education is the best bet to ensure in social progression. Discipline might sound a little harsh, the better one would be social etiquette. People want schools to teach social etiquette to their kids, at least parents that are not good at social etiquette themselves or parents who are not able to impart them in their kids in their family set-up. To ensure that the kids go the best universities/ colleges…. This too is obvious. The skills that the kids learn at school as a part of their curricular and co-curricular activities would help the kids to clear the screening tests conducted by the best universities and colleges and gain entry into these prestigious institutions.

The next three might not be the ones that parents might agree in public and not even in a one to one confidential conversation. But we can’t brush these aside. With the increase in the number of nuclear families, increasing proportion of families in which both the parents work and families living in cities where they do not have any of their close relatives living, parents definitely need a safe place to leave their kids when they are not in a position to take care of them. Lacking expertise in all matters related to bringing up kids could also be an issue, especially with people who have had their first kid. The emotional tantrums by kids might test the patience of the parents from time to time. Lack of time to take care of the kids could also be a problem in households where both the parents have jobs that themselves demand a lot of their time. The education that kids receive at school, the process of receiving the education and experiences associated with school days definitely help in ensuring that the kids grow up into well rounded individuals.

But according to me the most important reason why people send their kids to school is not given in the list. Chances are that most parents do not think about it when they send their kids to school. I am not sure if the professionals who work in these schools and the authorities who design the curriculum and govern these schools realize the importance of this factor in the life of kids at school. So what is this most important reason for which people send their kids to school? Before getting to it lets revisit the seven reasons once again and deliberate a little bit.

  1. To get the kids educated.

Most people can self-tutor their kids at least till the kids are in 8th/9th standard (if the parents themselves are educated). Beyond these classes, it might be difficult for the parents to teach some of subjects especially mathematics and science. Let’s assume for a moment that you have required background and you can teach your kids yourselves without sending them to schools. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. To teach them discipline

The family is the biggest influence on a kid and if they are not able to impart social etiquette in their kids, schools will have a tough time too. In any case whatever the school teaches, if the kids don’t get an environment at home to put them into practice, it’s as good as the kids not learning them at all. Assume that your family is better equipped to teach social etiquette to your kids than any school. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. To ensure that the kids go to good universities/ colleges. No. That’s not correct… To ensure that the kids go to one of the best universities/colleges.

This is slightly a dicey one. Well, the parents might be able to teach all the subjects taught in school better than schools themselves. But without help from university regulations, home-schooled students might not be able to get into the best universities. Assume that in your country home-schooled kids can take a reputed examination and if they clear this exam, they can apply for the best universities. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. Parents need someone to take care of their kids in their absence.

Assume that you live in a joint family or your parents live close by and are willing to take care your kids in your absence. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. Parents don’t have the expertise in bringing up their kids. They need help from experts. Schools provide these experts.

Same as ‘point one’ as above. Assume that you do have the expertise. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. Parents don’t have the time or patience to watch their kids the entire day (and day after day)

Assume that you have the time and the patience and/or your kids are very well behaved and obedient. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. To ensure that the kids grow up as well rounded individuals

Assume that you figure out that sending your kids to school is not the most cost-effective way in ensuring on this one. There are better ways. Will you still send your kids to a school?

The answer to all these question is an emphatic yes as schools provide the one factor that is very essential for a growing kid which you or I cannot provide in our family setting. And that will be the subject for my next blog post.

SUCCESS

SUCCESS is the destination which most people if not all of mankind intends to arrive at. The meaning of success could be different for different people; but in popular culture reaching the top echelons of ones chosen field along with the associated fame and money is considered to be success in professional life. It is also generally agreed that true success is a combination of success in both personal and professional lives. But why do a small proportion of people in any generation succeed while a vast majority of people fail? What is the single most important characteristic that determines future success? And when can we spot the traits for future success in a person? It so happens that one can spot the indicator for future success as early as four years of age!!!

And what is the characteristic that is used to determine if a kid would be successful in future? Is it the kid’s linguistic skill? Is it his or her inborn talent for certain sporting or artistic pursuits? Is it the kid’s ability to develop and retain friends? Or is it the early promise that the kid shows for easily learning math and science? The answer to these questions is an emphatic NO. The characteristic that can be used to determine future success is self-discipline or one’s ability to delay gratification. The study which identified that one’s ability to delay gratification is the single most important predictor of future success is probably one of the most famous psychological studies of the second half of twentieth century.

This study was carried out between the late 1960s and early 1970s at Stanford University and was headed by a distinguished professor by the name of Walter Mischel. The study itself is popularly called as the ‘The Marshmallow Study’ or ‘The Marshmallow Test’ both in the intellectual circles of psychology as well as in popular press and mass media. In essence the test is simple: A group of four year old kids were taken into an observation room one at a time. On a table in front of the kid, the researcher would place one marshmallow/ cookie and a calling bell. The researcher would instruct the kid that he would leave the kid alone in the room for some time (usually about 15 minutes) to attend to some urgent work. The kid can eat the marshmallow any time he wants by ringing the bell. But if the kid can wait till the researcher returns without eating the marshmallow/ cookie, he/she will get two marshmallows/ cookies. The research obviously led to two groups of kids: the ones who could not wait till the researcher returned & ended up eating the marshmallow and the group that was able to delay its gratification and wait for the researcher to return and hence was able to earn two marshmallows/ cookies. The researchers tracked both these groups of kids (as much as possible) over the next several years. They found that the kids from the second group were more successful (health, professional & personal) than the kids in the first group. Professor Mischel feels that the skills we use to delay gratifications are the same ones that we would use to make good choices in life.

I first heard about this study in the TED talk ‘The Discipline of Finishing’ by Conor Neill. The fact that we can determine if a kid will go on to lead a successful life by 4 years of his/her age and the fact that self-discipline and not intelligence is a good predictor of future success are equally mind blowing. Since then I have come across authors writing about this study in newspaper articles and books. In another TED talk by Joachim de Posada, he talks about his experience of replicating the ‘Marshmallow Test’ in his home country and the implications of the results. The video of kids trying to overcome the temptation of eating the Marshmallow is hilarious.

The New Yorker published a detailed article in 2009 that provides vivid details of the study and also includes interviews of some of the participants in the original study. A more recent article by The New Yorker recounts how the psychologist (Walter Mischel) who conducted the most famous study on self-control had trouble quitting his habit of chain-smoking. Walter Mischel is a legend in the field of psychology with a number of honors to his name including the Distinguished Scientific Contribution Award from the American Psychological Association. He is currently a Professor with Department of Psychology at Columbia University.

A long overdue book on the ‘Marshmallow Test’ by Professor Mischel himself was published in September 2014. Professor Mischel recently gave a talk at The RSA (Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce). Professor Mischel answered a number of questions from the audience and went on to clarify that the intention of his study was never to preach self-denial.

As I was watching the video I was wondering if what is true for an individual could be true for a society as a whole. What if self-discipline of members of the society at the individual level would translate at the aggregate level into increased success (higher Human Development Index) for the society as a whole? It would be interesting to look at the results of such a study. I wish the ‘Marshmallow Test’ and its implications would become popular among the Indian public. I also wish that the emphasis of Indian parents would be more on teaching life skills (psychology, personal finance, better civic sense, communication skills, better decision making, etc.) to their kids rather than just providing their kids with formal education at good schools. It would also be nice if Indian politicians and bureaucrats in charge of devising the curriculum for Indian schools would also include these skills as a part of the curriculum rather just focusing on Mathematics and Science.