Month: October 2014

Advice is like Pollution

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I just came across a post on the Leadership Freak Blog (by Dan Rockwell) on Advice titled “Seven Ways to Spot Wise Advice You Should Follow”. No offense to Mr. Rockwell, but I think Advice is like Pollution. People are neither interested in accepting Advice nor Pollution from others, but they are always willing to offload them (Advice as well as Pollution) on others with ease. There is a saying in my native language (Tamil) which roughly translates to “No one has ever changed for good by listening to/ implementing others’ advice”. I think that saying is correct. For irreversible and right kind of change to happen, the decision has to come from within and not from outside (in the form advice). What people are in need of is not advice but contextual information based on which they can make their own decision.

Why do people send their kids to school? (Part 1)

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Why do people send their kids to school? That might sound like a stupid question to you. Or you might think that I am not serious when I am posing this question. I am one hundred percent serious about this question. When I look back at my own experience of my school-going days (oops… sorry Professor Daniel Kahneman. Wrong usage). When I recollect memories of my school-going days as well as think about that of millions of other people, the question ‘Why do people send their kids to school?’ keeps popping up in my head again and again. Why do people send their kids to school?

Let’s list down the most important reasons:

  1. To get the kids educated
  2. To teach them discipline
  3. To ensure that the kids go to good universities/ colleges. No, that’s not correct… To ensure that the kids go to one of the best universities/colleges
  4. Parents need someone to take care of their kids in their absence
  5. Parents don’t have the expertise in bringing up their kids. They need help from experts. Schools provide these experts.
  6. Parents don’t have the time or patience to watch their kids the entire day (and day after day)
  7. To ensure that the kids grow up as well rounded individuals

Let’s take a closer look at the above responses.

The first three look pretty straight forward. These three are the ones that every parent would agree in public too. People want their kids to get educated. After all education is the best bet to ensure in social progression. Discipline might sound a little harsh, the better one would be social etiquette. People want schools to teach social etiquette to their kids, at least parents that are not good at social etiquette themselves or parents who are not able to impart them in their kids in their family set-up. To ensure that the kids go the best universities/ colleges…. This too is obvious. The skills that the kids learn at school as a part of their curricular and co-curricular activities would help the kids to clear the screening tests conducted by the best universities and colleges and gain entry into these prestigious institutions.

The next three might not be the ones that parents might agree in public and not even in a one to one confidential conversation. But we can’t brush these aside. With the increase in the number of nuclear families, increasing proportion of families in which both the parents work and families living in cities where they do not have any of their close relatives living, parents definitely need a safe place to leave their kids when they are not in a position to take care of them. Lacking expertise in all matters related to bringing up kids could also be an issue, especially with people who have had their first kid. The emotional tantrums by kids might test the patience of the parents from time to time. Lack of time to take care of the kids could also be a problem in households where both the parents have jobs that themselves demand a lot of their time. The education that kids receive at school, the process of receiving the education and experiences associated with school days definitely help in ensuring that the kids grow up into well rounded individuals.

But according to me the most important reason why people send their kids to school is not given in the list. Chances are that most parents do not think about it when they send their kids to school. I am not sure if the professionals who work in these schools and the authorities who design the curriculum and govern these schools realize the importance of this factor in the life of kids at school. So what is this most important reason for which people send their kids to school? Before getting to it lets revisit the seven reasons once again and deliberate a little bit.

  1. To get the kids educated.

Most people can self-tutor their kids at least till the kids are in 8th/9th standard (if the parents themselves are educated). Beyond these classes, it might be difficult for the parents to teach some of subjects especially mathematics and science. Let’s assume for a moment that you have required background and you can teach your kids yourselves without sending them to schools. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. To teach them discipline

The family is the biggest influence on a kid and if they are not able to impart social etiquette in their kids, schools will have a tough time too. In any case whatever the school teaches, if the kids don’t get an environment at home to put them into practice, it’s as good as the kids not learning them at all. Assume that your family is better equipped to teach social etiquette to your kids than any school. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. To ensure that the kids go to good universities/ colleges. No. That’s not correct… To ensure that the kids go to one of the best universities/colleges.

This is slightly a dicey one. Well, the parents might be able to teach all the subjects taught in school better than schools themselves. But without help from university regulations, home-schooled students might not be able to get into the best universities. Assume that in your country home-schooled kids can take a reputed examination and if they clear this exam, they can apply for the best universities. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. Parents need someone to take care of their kids in their absence.

Assume that you live in a joint family or your parents live close by and are willing to take care your kids in your absence. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. Parents don’t have the expertise in bringing up their kids. They need help from experts. Schools provide these experts.

Same as ‘point one’ as above. Assume that you do have the expertise. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. Parents don’t have the time or patience to watch their kids the entire day (and day after day)

Assume that you have the time and the patience and/or your kids are very well behaved and obedient. Will you still send your kids to a school?

  1. To ensure that the kids grow up as well rounded individuals

Assume that you figure out that sending your kids to school is not the most cost-effective way in ensuring on this one. There are better ways. Will you still send your kids to a school?

The answer to all these question is an emphatic yes as schools provide the one factor that is very essential for a growing kid which you or I cannot provide in our family setting. And that will be the subject for my next blog post.

SUCCESS

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SUCCESS is the destination which most people if not all of mankind intends to arrive at. The meaning of success could be different for different people; but in popular culture reaching the top echelons of ones chosen field along with the associated fame and money is considered to be success in professional life. It is also generally agreed that true success is a combination of success in both personal and professional lives. But why do a small proportion of people in any generation succeed while a vast majority of people fail? What is the single most important characteristic that determines future success? And when can we spot the traits for future success in a person? It so happens that one can spot the indicator for future success as early as four years of age!!!

And what is the characteristic that is used to determine if a kid would be successful in future? Is it the kid’s linguistic skill? Is it his or her inborn talent for certain sporting or artistic pursuits? Is it the kid’s ability to develop and retain friends? Or is it the early promise that the kid shows for easily learning math and science? The answer to these questions is an emphatic NO. The characteristic that can be used to determine future success is self-discipline or one’s ability to delay gratification. The study which identified that one’s ability to delay gratification is the single most important predictor of future success is probably one of the most famous psychological studies of the second half of twentieth century.

This study was carried out between the late 1960s and early 1970s at Stanford University and was headed by a distinguished professor by the name of Walter Mischel. The study itself is popularly called as the ‘The Marshmallow Study’ or ‘The Marshmallow Test’ both in the intellectual circles of psychology as well as in popular press and mass media. In essence the test is simple: A group of four year old kids were taken into an observation room one at a time. On a table in front of the kid, the researcher would place one marshmallow/ cookie and a calling bell. The researcher would instruct the kid that he would leave the kid alone in the room for some time (usually about 15 minutes) to attend to some urgent work. The kid can eat the marshmallow any time he wants by ringing the bell. But if the kid can wait till the researcher returns without eating the marshmallow/ cookie, he/she will get two marshmallows/ cookies. The research obviously led to two groups of kids: the ones who could not wait till the researcher returned & ended up eating the marshmallow and the group that was able to delay its gratification and wait for the researcher to return and hence was able to earn two marshmallows/ cookies. The researchers tracked both these groups of kids (as much as possible) over the next several years. They found that the kids from the second group were more successful (health, professional & personal) than the kids in the first group. Professor Mischel feels that the skills we use to delay gratifications are the same ones that we would use to make good choices in life.

I first heard about this study in the TED talk ‘The Discipline of Finishing’ by Conor Neill. The fact that we can determine if a kid will go on to lead a successful life by 4 years of his/her age and the fact that self-discipline and not intelligence is a good predictor of future success are equally mind blowing. Since then I have come across authors writing about this study in newspaper articles and books. In another TED talk by Joachim de Posada, he talks about his experience of replicating the ‘Marshmallow Test’ in his home country and the implications of the results. The video of kids trying to overcome the temptation of eating the Marshmallow is hilarious.

The New Yorker published a detailed article in 2009 that provides vivid details of the study and also includes interviews of some of the participants in the original study. A more recent article by The New Yorker recounts how the psychologist (Walter Mischel) who conducted the most famous study on self-control had trouble quitting his habit of chain-smoking. Walter Mischel is a legend in the field of psychology with a number of honors to his name including the Distinguished Scientific Contribution Award from the American Psychological Association. He is currently a Professor with Department of Psychology at Columbia University.

A long overdue book on the ‘Marshmallow Test’ by Professor Mischel himself was published in September 2014. Professor Mischel recently gave a talk at The RSA (Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce). Professor Mischel answered a number of questions from the audience and went on to clarify that the intention of his study was never to preach self-denial.

As I was watching the video I was wondering if what is true for an individual could be true for a society as a whole. What if self-discipline of members of the society at the individual level would translate at the aggregate level into increased success (higher Human Development Index) for the society as a whole? It would be interesting to look at the results of such a study. I wish the ‘Marshmallow Test’ and its implications would become popular among the Indian public. I also wish that the emphasis of Indian parents would be more on teaching life skills (psychology, personal finance, better civic sense, communication skills, better decision making, etc.) to their kids rather than just providing their kids with formal education at good schools. It would also be nice if Indian politicians and bureaucrats in charge of devising the curriculum for Indian schools would also include these skills as a part of the curriculum rather just focusing on Mathematics and Science.